Pick-up lines work better when you are wearing a shirt that fits. Actually, everything works better when you are wearing a shirt that fits. Don’t believe it? Try a pick-up line wearing an ill-fitting shirt, and then try then try the same line wearing a TallSlim Tee. Relish in the difference. And enjoy your new girlfriend.

Until then, here are 8 terrible pick-up lines to avoid using and their likely responses if you’re wearing a shirt that looks ridiculous.

1. You might be asked to leave soon. You are making the other women look bad.

Actually, you might be asked to leave soon because you look bad in that ill-fitting shirt – and that was a terrible line. You’re making girls uncomfortable.

2. You know what material this is? (Grab your shirt) Boyfriend material.

No, that’s sub par, super shrunken cotton. Not a 50/50 cotton/poly blend like a TallSlim Tee is made of. Whatever it is, it’s definitely not boyfriend material.

3. If I was an octopus, all my 3 hearts would beat for you.

If you were an octopus then maybe—just maybe—your shirt would actually fit.

4. Is Your Dad A Preacher? Cause Girl You’re A Blessing.

Is your dad a tailor? . . . No. No, clearly he is not, because a tailor would never let his son out in public in such a poorly fitting shirt.

5. Can you touch my hand? I want to tell my friends I’ve been touched by an angel.

Oh, that’s bad.

6. “Are you French? Because maDAMN.”

You definitely aren’t French because if you were you would take that shirt to a tailor.

7. You’re so cute it’s distracting

You’re shirt is distracting.

8. I’m gonna call you Google, because you have everything I’m looking for.

Stop. You need to use the real Google to look up TallSlimTees.com, find yourself a properly fitted shirt, and save us all from the tragedy you are presently wearing.